Zacharias Smith

Merlin, what's going on? Adrian said he said this would happen, he said that the Death Eaters were interested and

What the hell could Lestrange want with me?! Why ME?!

Isn't it weird? People seem to be getting upset about who the new head of the DMLE is. Did none of you bother to look past the first headline? Hagrid wasn't the best teacher by a long shot. He wasn't bright. But he's dead. And I haven't seen a single journal entry, a single comment about it. When Spinnet died, the journals reeked of people trying to one-up each other on how much they were hurting. And he gets nothing at all. Didn't the Gryffindors eat out of the palm of his hand? I'm sure I remember that.

Did you all hate him so much?

And are you missing the fact that 1) it's right beside Hogsmeade, and somewhat more importantly, 2) it was on Hogwarts grounds?

You confuse the ever living fuc shit out of me.

Or are all the comments in locked entries that I can't see? Is it possible that you might've learned your lesson after all these years?

I can't bloody concentrate!

[Private to Wayne, Ernie, Susan, and Su]
I'm scared, guys.

[Hexed Against Arthur Winkless]
Getting that promotion was great! I get to lord it over people and stuff, but it has suddenly occurred to me that I may have the dumbest person in the department in my team. I often find myself grinding my teeth in aggravation. The dentist is going to love me.

OI! I completely forgot about these what, like two years ago? Three? Those definition things I used to do.

DEFINITION (because I will mock you endlessly if you think I'm doing this once a week again, I have better shit to do with my time)

Dentist: Magician who puts in your mouth a fraction of what he is taking from your pocket.



Okay, so not my best work, but I'm rusty. If anyone actually needs that explained, I'm referring, of course, to gold.

[Private to Self]
Full moon Tuesday. I hate those.

Oops! I'm a few days late. Way too much has been going on here what with moving and the blokes starting their various relationships.

And so I dedicate this

DEFINITION OF THE WEEK to them!

MARRIAGE: union that allows two people to support each other through issues they would not have had if they'd remained single.

In other news I love my new room. Also I think I'm gaining weight around the middle and that's not good. Wayne's being a terrible influence with the sweets. Maybe we should all go on a diet together, eh Wayne? Ernie? Are you up for it? Or maybe working out? Something has to happen. I can't be the only one getting pudgy, here.

Hello, everybody! Did you miss me?!

I hope you did because I bring you another;



DEFINITION OF THE WEEK

Snobism: Designates the urge to buy things you don't need with money you don't have in order to impress the people you don't like.



I feel lazy. Kind of... I think I need to spend time with actual normal people. I see weird shit too often. Time for some normal time, you know?

So Puffs! Talk to me, hit me up for some funky good time!

Merlin, I need to get a life.

Introducing

DEFINITIONS OF THE DAY WEEK!

Synonym: word to write instead of the one you're not sure of the spelling for.



Okay, so I'm not sure how often I'm going to do this since clearly my genius is going to run out at some point. We can't all be good at everything!

[Private to Pucey]
Looks like you're in a spot of trouble there, mate. Did you notice he didn't even hex it to you? That's public embarrassment or something.

Are you al
I don't know why I give a shi
Are you alright?

It's official! I officially no longer have any nails. I ate them all.

Did you know it hurts, not having nails? Wonder if Mungo's would do anything for me


[Hexed Private to Self (Ernie can read if he's bored enough to try)]

Starting to think that maybe Ernie had a point. Now there's a scary thought.

I don't think I studied this much when I was in school. My eyes are going to fall out.

Also, do you think it's possible that studying too many subjects at once might mix up all the information? So that in a Potions exam, for instance, you end up giving a Charms answer? Because if that's possible, I guarantee it's going to happen to me.

And at what point does studying become moot? I heard there's a point that, if you study past it, you're actually not going to remember it any better. Does anyone know when that point is?

Oh and another thing, would you value sleep over studying or the other way around?

I've also never had so much coffee in such a short amount of time in my life either.

I can't wait for this to be over so I can get back to my life.

This woman, I don't know how the kid did it, I didn't get to interview him, but this woman was turned into a snot monster.

I wish I were kidding.

I just had to transfigure a woman back to her normal body from being a snot monster. All because the kid had his finger up his nose to the second knuckle and she tsked at him about it disapprovingly.

I pity the poor sods in Muggleworthy Excuses. The shit they have to come up with has to be astounding. How the hell do you explain that experience away to the bus full of Muggles? "Oh, she's just terribly fat, look at her! It was a trick of the light, the sun glistening off her rolls. Don't worry, it's a normal occurrence..." Anyone who's fallen for this kind of bullshit is an idiot. Pure and simple. No other excuse.

That kid has got a temper on him, though. I'll be looking for his name in the Prophet when he grows up.

Note: Begging your journal not to let it be true does not make it any less true. Your journal is simply a journal and has no wish-granting powers.

Note: Everyone's been saying the same damn thing as you are. It's repetitive and yes, I get that you miss her. I saw her names countless times in the past day and already I forgot it But given that you've each responded to each other's journal posts and insist on making your own to have yet others respond to, you're all making it about yourselves, like your friend's death is unfortunate for you, and not at all about her. It's about your loss rather than about the loss of an actual life.

You're cheapening your friend's death with all these journal posts. Good going!

So let me get this straight. I can contact anyone and everyone with these things the moment I write? Whoever I want to contact? If there's ever been a more brilliant invention, I don't know it.

Oi Hannah! HAAANNAAAHH! Are you on this thing?

Hey, how does one know whether or not someone has one of these things? Because I could be talking to empty space, yeah?




Wayne! Turn down the cartoons, will you? HA! This is excellent!